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Transcript of Christian Bale’s rant on the set of Terminator SalvationBALE: Kick your fucking ass! HURLBUT: Christian, Christian BALE: I want you off the fucking set you prick! HURLBUT: Christian, I’m sorry. BALE: No, don’t just be sorry, think for one fucking second. What the fuck are you...
Arab walks into a barAn Arab walks into a bar and is about to order a drink when he sees a guy close by wearing a Jewish cap, a prayer shawl/tzitzis and traditional locks of hair. He doesn’t have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is Jewish. so he shouts over to the bartender loudly enough that...
Sgt. Bosco ‘B.A.’ Baracus: [justifying his newly adopted non-violent attitude, he quotes Gandhi] “Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary.” Col. John ‘Hannibal’ Smith: [answers with his own Gandhi quote] “It is better to be violent, if there is violence in...
Put your spouse in a roomPut your wife in a room lock it. Put your dog in another room lock it !!! Open both rooms after 2 – 3 hours see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you ! (Readers are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who...
Why you know thisI know because I must know. It is my purpose. It is the reason I am here. The same reason we are all here - the keymaker, matrix reloaded.View On WordPress
One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic. He drank half of it and poured the rest on the bartender. The bartender got angry, grabbed the drunk by the collar, pulled him close to his face, and asked, “Why did you do that?”The drunk said very apologetically, “I am so very sorry...
Keep an eye on the babyWifey to me: I’m just stepping away for few minutes, please keep an eye on the baby once in a while, including when she’s crying. Me:huhView On WordPress
I downloaded an app called fat you on my phone. It works by making you look fat in the picture. To test it, I took a selfie tried to edit it in the fat you app. The app threw the following error msg, “please lose some weight before using this app; we make you look fat; not obese.” WTF APP?just...
Are you interested in making $$$$ fast?Here’s an incredibly simple way to do it, and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! Try it now! Follow this simple procedure: 1) Hold down the shift key. 2) Hit the number 4 key four times fast.View On WordPress
how old are youteacher: Johnny, how old were you on your last birthday? Johnny: Seven. Teacher: How old will you be on your next birthday? Johnny: Nine. Teacher: That’s impossible. Johnny: No, it isn’t, Teacher. I’m eight today.View On WordPress
A Man of Few WordsA guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point – he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman knocked on his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn’t home. “Well,” the woman said, “could I please wait for her?” The man...
Husband sent a text to his wife at night, “Hi Honey! I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.” After a while he sent another text, “And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month...
A guy sitting in a bar is really looking nervous. Every time the door opens he jumps. Every time there is a noise he cringes. The bartender after watching this for an hour finally goes over and asks, “What’s the matter with you?” “Well I received a letter today that said if I didn’t stop fooling...
santa n banta old fat wrinklyBanta noticed that Santa was looking depressed, and asked what was wrong. “Well,” said Santa, “I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I’m in deep trouble at home.” “What kind of question?” asked Banta. “My wife asked me if I would still...
On The Godfather (Interesting analysis)
How to Make a Vision Board
“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed, is more important than any other one thing.” - Abe lincoln
theatlantic: The Banality of Televised Anti-Chinese Racism Last week’s episode of Holland’s Got Talent featured a 30-year-old Chinese-born contestant named Xiao Wang, a PhD candidate who moonlights as an opera singer. Xiao was on hand to sing “La donna e mobile,” an aria from Verdi’s Rigoletto,...
Men's guide to suit: Men’s guide to proper fitting of suits via @9GAG